


Recovery

by The_Peddler



Series: Bruises [3]
Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M, Recovery, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-01 03:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5190605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Peddler/pseuds/The_Peddler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They have survived the worst together, now follow Newt and Thomas on their road to recovery.</p><p>Built by your requests, paved by my words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sibling Reunion

Thomas had just shut the ring away when Newt entered the doorway. He turned round to see a perplexed look on the blonde's face as he stood with a small grocery bag hanging loosely in one hand. 

"Hey you." He welcomed his boyfriend home with a beaming smile. Thomas could still vividly remember his Newt tied up in the darkness, marked and scarred, bloodied and beaten. It had taken ages to shampoo the clotted blood out of his hair, and scrub the dirt and grime from his fragile skin. His badly burnt hands were still covered in bandages, and small scars decorated him from head to toe. Despite all this, to see him looking so normal and clean in jeans and a jumper, with clean hear and colour returning to his skin made Thomas feel warm inside. 

"Hey." Newt replied quietly. "What are you guys doing up here?"

Newt's mother automatically picked up an empty washing basket that had been lying in the corner on the bedroom floor, as if it had always been her intent.

"Just came up to see if you boys needed any washing doing." She answered without skipping a beat. 

"Mum we did the washing this morning and -" He sniffed the air. "I think something might be starting to burn."

"Bugger the cake! I totally forgot all about it!" Mrs Newton exclaimed, abandoning her basket and dashing past her son as she rushed down the stairs to rescue their creation; leaving the two men alone together. Thomas sat back down on their bed, smoothing the creases out of the sheets as he reclined. He could sense Newt about to head downstairs, and seized his chance.

"How was today Newt?"

Newt stared at him for a moment before rolling his eyes with a sigh, the bag with eggs swaying with the motion. "Could you sound any more like a therapist?"

Thomas mentally kicked himself over his choice of words. "I'm sorry, hey, come here." He mimicked Mrs Newtons' earlier notions and patted the spot next to him on the bed. "What did you two get up to whilst I was slaving over a coffee machine?"

He sensed hesitation, but Newt took his place next to him; just the weight of the other sinking next to him made him feel warmer inside. Newt played with the plastic handles of his goods as he began to reel off the things he had done. He didn't look up, nor did he look directly at Thomas, but his eyes flickered his way every now and then, and Newt's shoulders dropped slightly as they relaxed. 

"Just chores really, Mum suggested making a cake for Teresa and Minho, though we may have to start again by the smell of it." His nose wrinkled as he spoke, making Thomas melt a little inside. "When are they due back by the way?"

Thomas placed a hand on the small of Newt's back, sensing the tension from the contact, but allowed Newt to relax again. There had been great progress in their closeness since returning home. At first Newt would not leave his room, and physically flinch if Thomas tried to get near him. Now, although he would still brace himself at contact, Newt would always relax again when he realised it was Thomas or his Mother who was there. Baby steps maybe, but Thomas was glad they were going in the right direction.

"Couple of days. I'll probably go meet them at the airport, I need to talk to T, set things right, explain what's happened."

Newt only nodded beside him. "W-when you're ready, they could have tea here if you wanted."

"When you're ready Newt. You don't have to rush things you know that."

"I know. I just think I would feel worse the longer I left it. I gotta face it sometime, and besides - it's not fair on you."

The tiny but brave smile that Newt put on to show his conviction was enough to convince Thomas. He gently pulled Newt towards him and held him close to his side, letting his boyfriend rest his head on his shoulder. He could not express enough how much in love he was with Newt, who still thought of others despite all that he had been through. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to marry the man, and spend the rest of his life making him happy. 

They stayed as they were, leant against each other in a gentle caress of an embrace for a while. It was the closest they had been since returning home, and Thomas wished they could remain as they were forever. The rustling of a bag however, brought him out of his daze.

"Mum's gonna need these eggs." Newt murmured as he slowly got up, leaving a slightly disappointed Thomas behind. He vocalized his feelings with a whine, earning another smile from the blonde. The sight of it was enough to make him feel better.

"Okay, I'll follow you down."

It was early evening, and Newt was busy helping his mother patch up a slightly overdone cake in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Thomas stirred from his napping position on the couch where he had fallen asleep watching some budget TV game show. Irked from being wretched from his dozing, he stumbled to the front door, muttering to himself the whole way.

His eyes widened when he saw the visitor, and the next moment he found himself in a choking embrace before he could get a word out.

"T!"

"Oh Thomas thank God you're alright!" His sister squealed as she squeezed him even harder. Thomas pried her off of him so he could hold her at arms length. She looked resplendent in the light of the setting sun. Her skin was tanned from her trip, and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. She looked even more pregnant that she did walking down the aisle, her ocean blue maxi dress draping over a generous bump.  

"What are you doing here? I didn't expect you back for a couple of days yet." He asked, dumbfounded. Teresa was the last person he expected to see today, considering she was supposed to be in a different part of the world. 

"I know I know. But Minho was acting all weird and after a lot of prying I got the whole story out of him. Oh Thomas I'm so sorry that you had to go through it all alone! What were you thinking going against that lunatic all by yourself, he could have killed you! And to think the last thing I would have said to you would have been that stupid argument at the wedding." She held his face in her hands, running a finger down a lingering scar on his forehead. Thomas blinked away his own tears. He remembered lying on a cold, dark floor, with a hard baseball bat held to his temple. He had thought of all the people he would never see again, and his sister had been the first in his mind. 

"It's good to see you T, I wanted to say sorry for what happened at your wedding, I lost my cool."

She slapped his arm with a loud tut. "Forget about the stupid wedding! I'm just glad I have my little brother back. What were you thinking? Going after Alby alone, you should have taken someone, anyone!"

Thomas shrugged sheepishly. "I had to get Newt back, it couldn't wait another day." He didn't want to think about what could have been if he hadn't have acted, or if he had waited any longer. Instead he hugged his sister, happy to see his family again. 

"Thomas?" His sister stirred him from his thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Can I come in?" 

Thomas looked round to spy Newt was still busy in the kitchen. "Yes of course, just head into the lounge, I need to tell Newt your'e here."

"How is he?" Teresa asked with deep concern on her face. "Minho saved me the gritty details, I can't begin to imagine what he's been through."

"A lot" He answered. "He's very fragile, very quiet, and keeps to himself most of the time. I'll let him know you're here, but he might choose not to show himself, and I'd like to respect his needs at the moment."

"Of course, of course." She agreed without a moments notice. "I'll be in the lounge. Oh It's so good to see you Thomas, thank God you're both safe." She kissed him on the cheek on her way past him, quietly making her way through into the living room. Thomas was so glad to see his sister again, the last time he saw her face is had been angry, shocked, and heartbroken. He sidled through into the kitchen when he found the Newtons cleaning up.

"Who was at the door?" Newt asked  as he put a stack of plates into a high cupboard. 

"Uh, Teresa's here."

Newt shut the cupboard door suddenly, and a little too loudly. "What? She's not due back for a couple of days."

"I know, I know. Minho told her what happened, and she wanted to come back and make sure were okay that's all."

He could see the panic building in Newt's eyes. "Newt it's okay, you don't have to see her if you don't want to. She just wants to talk to me, catch up with everything."

Hannah put a comforting hand on her son's shoulder. "Why don't I if Teresa would like a drink, and you can make it for her?" She left her son looking bewildered at the whole situation as she left the kitchen. Thomas heard the squeals that could only come from a mother admiring a very soon mother to be. 

"There's no pressure on you Newt. You're in control here okay?"

Newt nodded silently before returning back to his work. Thomas rubbed his back lovingly before returning to his sister; he found her deep in conversation with Hannah.

"I'm just happy to have my boys back home safe and sound." 

"Your boys?" He queried as he sat down in between them on the sofa.

"Well." She gushed. " You'll be part of the family officially soon, better get used to it." She beamed happily as Teresa stare blankly at them. The pin soon dropped and his sister gasped so loudly he wished Newt was upstairs.

"Hannah..." He whined.

"You're going to marry!?" Teresa squealed. 

"Shhhhh!" He hadn't planned on anyone knowing his mission until it was done. Now two people knew, and the pressure was on to pop the question, and for Newt to say yes. "I haven't asked him yet so keep the volume down." He whispered harshly in panic. Teresa just smiled at him through her hands as she held them to her face. 

"Thomas this is just perfect! Oh I thought you guys would never go for it!"

He wanted to put his hand over his sister's mouth. "Hannah my sister and I will have a coffee please." 

"Oh hint taken. I'll leave you two to discuss." Mrs Newton hopped out of her seat spritely, almost dancing back into the kitchen.

"She found the ring this morning, she's a tad excited." He explained. "Nearly as much as you seem to be."

Teresa held her hands out as if he had pointed out the obvious. "Of course I'm excited!" Thomas was very thankful for the hushed tone she had adopted. "My little brother is getting hitched to the man he loves!" 

"T please calm down, I haven't even asked him yet."

"Why not"?

"Do you really have to ask? He's not himself T, after all he's been through, the idea of marriage might scare the hell out of him. What if he says no? I don't think I could take it."

Teresa scooted up close to him and ran a loving hand through his thick overgrown hair. "He won't say no. You risked your own life to save his, and I have no doubt that he would do the same for you. You two belong together. Yo-"

She cut off and Thomas followed her gaze as Newt entered the room carrying two steaming mugs. The blonde managed a shy smile as he placed the drinks on the coffee table and took a seat next to his boyfriend. Thomas hugged him close; he could feel the tension and rigidity in Newt's lithe form. 

"Hi Newt." Teresa started off. "It's so good to see you safe and well."

"Thanks." Newt replied quietly. "It's nice to be home. I owe Thomas my life." 

"Hey you saved mine too remember? I wouldn't be here if you hadn't pulled Alby off me."

Newt's features darkened at the mention of his dead captor, and ex-boyfriend's name. Thomas knew the name hurt him, but hiding away from it would not be good in the long run. Newt had to get used to hearing Alby's name, and the only way to do that was to say it. 

"See? Perfect for each other." Teresa looked at him knowingly. 

Newt's face lightened. "Yeah." He said the single word with an amount of pride that made Thomas beam inside. "Listen it was nice to see you, but I'll let you two catch up."

"Okay." Thomas appreciated Newt's attempt to join in, and he didn't want to push him more than what he was ready for. He took Newt's hand and gave it a quick kiss before letting him go. 

"Bless his heart." Teresa uttered once Newt had disappeared. "So what happened? Minho told me the basics, but what happened to Alby? How did you get away, was he arrested?"

Thomas bowed his head, his heavy heart weighing him down. "Alby's dead."

"Dead?" His sister repeated. "How?"

He made himself keep eye contact with his sister's. "Your little brother is a killer."

"Oh my God what happened?" 

So Thomas told everything. Teresa sat silent and by the time he had finished, their coffee cups were drought, the sky outside was black, and Newt and Hannah had retired upstairs. It felt a relief to get everything off his chest, all of his feelings and emotions, his fears and his regrets. 

"You did what you had to do." Teresa said simply once he had finished. "He would have killed you, and probably Newt too. You can't be hard on yourself for what happened."

"Thanks T, I appreciate it. It all happened so fast, and I know I did what I had to do. It's just... you don't know what it's like to be responsible for someone's death."

"Hey, you saved a life too, and Alby got what was coming to him. I am so proud of you Thomas, you showed such bravery and resilience. I mean I hate to boost your ego, but you are a hero." She laughed melodically and Thomas couldn't help but smile.

"Okay enough about me, what about you? You're starting to waddle when you walk."

She ran a hand over her protruding bump. "Six weeks to go, so any day now really. Minho's treating me like a glass swan that could break at any moment." 

"Good. Glad he's doing his job. Where is he anyways? I'm assuming you came home together."

"Yeah he dropped me here, I sent him home to unpack the luggage. He's gonna come pick me up once he's finished."

"God you've trained him well. Nicely whipped." 

Thomas replenished their coffees and they caught up on Teresa's honeymoon, and the rest of her wedding that he had sadly missed. It felt nice to have an almost normal conversation with someone, and to see his sister so healthy and radiant made him happy. 

"Thomas?" Teresa asked after a couple minutes of easy silence.

"Yes?" He asked hesitantly, not liking the tone of her voice. 

"Just so you know, Mum and Dad went back home the day after the wedding. Dad was in such a foul mood after what happened, and I was super pissed at him myself - and at you if I'm honest. But I can never forgive him for hitting you, or the way he spoke to you. Mum was silent as always, taking sides quietly with Dad. I gave them the cold shoulder and they left before I went away."

 _Good_ , was what he wanted to say. _Good Riddance._ He wondered if his parents would feel anything if he had been killed by Alby. Probably not. If anything his father would feel relief. "I'm sorry T. I know you wanted them around for the new baby."

"Their loss." She shrugged. "The balls in their court now, I'm not pandering to them anymore."

It was the first time in their life that Teresa had been completely on his side when it came to their parents. In a weird way it felt kind of sad. She had always had a positive relationship with their folks, it seemed a shame that that could be broken away over him. 

"I guess there's a lot of things that we just have to wait and see huh?" 

His sister agreed. "Just get that ring on Blondie's finger okay? 

He laughed, "I'm really glad you came over Sis, I really needed to talk to someone."

She hugged him tightly, "What are big pregnant sisters for huh?

The last few days had felt like a never ending battle. Now after seeing his sister, he could see everything was finally starting to fit into place. His parents had left, his sister and best friend were back and very near to having their first baby. Newt had made great progress in coming out of his shell, and he now felt more confident about asking him to marry him.

At last, things were starting to look up.  


	2. Moving on

Newt stared out of the window as Thomas pulled into a free parking space. The once familiar building he used to walk into once a day looked stark and cold, an ugly building of sharp angles and frigid glass. He had seen many things inside that structure, delved through countless grim substances, but the mere sight of his workplace made his stomach turn somersaults.

The journey had been near silent, only Thomas murmuring the odd curse at irksome drivers. He appreciated Thomas letting him work through his thoughts, it had been his decision to come here today, one that would change both of their lives, and his boyfriends silent support had given him the courage he needed to get to this point. From this point however, he would have to go alone. The sound of the handbrake broke his train of thought, sounding an end to his meditation time, and a warm hand on his thigh turned his gaze to meet dark brown eyes.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Thomas checked one last time. Newt smiled, he knew Thomas fully supported him from the moment he mentioned his intentions, but that the brunette would be happy, as long as Newt was happy with what he was doing.

"Yes." He didn't want to let any doubt seep into his mind. "I need to do this."

"Okay." Thomas squeezed his leg assuredly. "That's all I needed to hear. I'll be waiting for you right here."

Newt let himself out of the car, pushed on by the encouraging words. "Thanks Tommy, see you in a bit." He closed the door behind him, shutting off the comforting warmth as a chill morning gust washed over him, sweeping through his hair. He strode up the walkway, keeping his eyes to the floor and holding tight to the white envelope in his hand. In reality it had not been long since he had stepped here last, but it felt like it belonged to a separate lifetime. He had been granted indefinite time off, until he was ready to return, but it had only taken a couple of weeks for him to make up his mind, and the irksome feeling he got when he crossed the threshold cemented his conviction. 

Monica, a stern looking receptionist with a hidden heart of gold glanced up over her glasses as he approached the counter. Her eyes widened when they settled on him.

"Issac!" She exclaimed. "I wasn't expecting you today, how are you?"

Newt cringed internally. No doubt his tale had spread among all ranks, and he could feel eyes on him from all who walked past him. He had no intention of whittling away time reciting what he would gladly forget. 

"Hi Monica, yeah I'm okay, is Ava in?" He avoided eye contact, shielding himself from further conversation. Fortunately, Monica took his hint. 

"Um, yes she's in her office. Shall I call and see if she's free?"

Newt shook his head. "I won't keep her long, just let her know I'm on my way." He stared his way down known corridors before she could respond, following the same track he had paced countless times before. Transparent rooms around him showed his colleagues staring his way, curious looks on their faces. He picked up the pace, ignoring them all. He did not want their sympathies, or their apologies, and he could only imagine the conversations they had had about him. Eyes burned into his back the whole way, but he kept plodding on until his boss' office at last stood before him. 

He knocked twice courteously, the dark brown hardwood smooth against his knuckles. A faint voice beckoned him from beyond and he let himself in. Ava placed her phone down in it's handset as he closed the door behind him. She looked tired and older than the last time he saw her. Stacks of papers littered her usual tidy desk and case files and different coloured folders lay scattered among them. 

"Newt I wasn't expecting you." She gestured to the chair opposite her. 

"Yeah I'm hearing that a lot." He took the offered seat, picking up the random file that had been left there and added it to the mess. "You look busy."

She held her hands up in admission. "Well I'm down my most efficient member of staff. Speaking of, you're looking well all things considered, how are things?" 

He shrugged. "It's hard, but each day is a little bit better than the last. Tommy is helping me a lot."

His boss smiled, "I'm glad, it's time like these you need to prioritise yourself and those close to you. It's great to see you out and about, but know that you can take as long as you need before returning to work. Don't let the cluttered desk fool you, we can cope until you return."

Newt scratched the back of his head nervously as he fiddled with the closed envelope.

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about..."

It had taken him ages to write, finding the right words to say to someone who was not just him employer, but his friend and confidant over the years. It was the hardest decision he had ever had to make, but after recent events he couldn't see any other way. Not if he wanted to move on with his life truly happy. Selfishness bit at him from within, seeding doubt inside, but maybe it was about time he was a little selfish. Seeing his obviously distressed boss, despite her attempts to disguise it, nearly made him second guess himself.

He placed the white object delicately on top of a pile of paper in the middle of her desk. Ava glanced at it curiously. "What's this."

Newt swallowed thickly. "My resignation." 

"What?" Ava picked her glasses off her face and held them tightly in one hand. Her eyes wide with disbelief at the words she had heard. "Are you serious? Are you sure?"

"Ava I've thought about it a lot, and I cannot imagine working here again."

"But Newt, this is your dream job, you really want to give that up? You're good at this, you were made for this." She gestured around her with wild arms. "Look what happens when you're not here. You are the best at what you do, don't let Alby's actions deter you."

A spark of anger lit inside him. "Alby's actions would not have happened if the right precautions were put in place. Dominic, a rookie partner who was not field ready, left me in the lurch, with no further back up. I would not even be here today if it wasn't for Thomas. I would be dead and rotting away under that farm when you failed in your investigation if it wasn't for him. Above and beyond all, I cannot put myself in that same situation again. You just said I need to prioritise on what is important to me, and all that matters to me right now is Thomas."

He breathed deeply as his own words sunk in. He had been festering in a black hole since being rescued, drowning in horrific memories of what Alby has done to him. In doing so he had neglected the one person who had saved him, and stuck by him throughout everything, never weakening in his resolve. He loved Thomas, and nothing else mattered. Giving up his work would hopefully be the first step to re-focusing him on what was truly important. 

Ava looked at him as if he had kicked her in the chest. "Newt... I'm sorry about everything, you're right, we - no I messed up big time. But re-consider, all your years of work will be for nothing if you give it up now. Is that really what you want?"

Newt stood up, sorely tempted to swipe everything off the desk into an unsolvable mess. "I haven't come here to lose a friend Ava. You've helped me a lot over the years, and I thank you for all you've done over the years. But you, my team, my job nearly cost me my life, and I have suffered enough as a result. So please, accept my resignation so we can part ways with dignity?"

She remained silent for a time, watching him as she replayed each and every word in her mind. "Accepted." She spoke formally. 

"That's it?" He had expected more resistance, more emotion, more... anything. The stoic facade come as a surprise to him. She gestured to the mess around her.

"I've got a lot to get through Issac, so if that's all?" 

Her attitude stung him hard. After all he had been through, and under her duty, her lack of compassion hurt. He bit back his tongue to prevent spitting an acidic reply and turned and left the room without a word, shutting the door behind him a little louder than necessary. The place he had loved for years, his second home, now felt cold and full of strangers. His eyes found Dominic's through glass walls on his way out, and he glared ice shards at the sorry looking fool. 

He found Thomas leaning against the car door, sunshine lightened his skin as he sunbathed against the glass with his eyes gently closed. He looked the image of bliss and relaxation; his ray of light. The brunette heard his approach and winked one eye open. 

"There you are, all go okay?" 

Newt shrugged. "She didn't take it well. But it's done, I'm officially unemployed."

Thomas held his shoulders gently, "You sure this is what you want?"

The sun felt warm on his face, and his body felt lighter than it had in months as he looked into the eyes of the man he was lucky to be with. For the first time he let go of all his chains and locks, and let his walls come down. He buried himself into Thomas' chest, holding the man tight as he pressed as close into him as he could. A smile drew his lips up as he head a surprised noise, before secure arms wrapping around him in return.

"This is exactly what I want Tommy."

Things would change, two wages would go down to one, and decisions would have to be made. For Newt however, it felt like his first step to getting his life back on track. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Night Talk

Cool night air attacked his exposed skin as it washed over his body, but it wasn't the lack of covers that awoke Thomas from his sleep, rather the writhing body beside him. Newt's night terrors had become commonplace, and an expected part of Thomas' night time routine. During the day Newt put up an impenetrable front of determined bravery, whilst as he slept the truth of his internal perils would make themselves perfectly clear.

Sweat glistened visibly on Newt's forehead, shining in the silver moonlight. His lengthy hair was damp and matted, plastering to his hot skin as he tossed and turned from side to side. Thomas wished Newt would wake up from his nightmares, but he never did. Instead his bottom lip quivered as he whimpered softly at whatever mental image was attacking him; his face a picture of pure terror that pulled hard on Thomas' heartstrings. He wished he could eradicate the haunting dreams for good. Each night the blonde would reluctantly fall asleep, only to face the inevitable onslaught, never recalling the nature of his nightmares to Thomas.

It had been several weeks since they had removed Alby from their lives, and though Newt had gotten better, it was obvious that the events he had endured still affected him deeply. Newt had also lost the comfort blanket of his mother, who had returned back home to be with her husband, disappointed that her son was not yet engaged. Thomas wished he could fulfill his promise to her, but Newt was still so fragile he dared not risk popping the big question; not yet. 

Trying to wake Newt always proved futile, Thomas knew from experience. Instead he pulled Newt into him, enclosing him in his arms as he pulled him close, pressing him against his chest. He offered quiet soothing noises as Newt struggled in his grasp as he always did, but Thomas held on tightly. He locked Newt's head under his chin, and entwined their legs together, keeping his arms around the shaking body; effectively caging him in a gentle but firm bear hug. Once effectively pinned in place, Newt's struggling lessened, and his breathing began to even out again. Thomas hummed a random tune, keeping his own breathing in check; slow and steady, encouraging Newt to follow suit. Minutes later their nocturnal wrestling ended, Newt peacefully resting in his arms. 

Thomas let out a contented sigh when he was sure the night's tumult was indeed over. As arduous as Newt's nightmares were, it was only in his dreaming state that he sought the comfort of human contact that Thomas dearly wanted to give to him. He could feel the warmth of Newt's body, his breath on his neck, his legs gripping gently around his, It felt right, the way they should be spending their nights together; the way they used to. 

One thing Thomas struggled with on a daily basis was the lack of contact between them. The morning kisses, the cuddles, the gentle caress of a shoulder or jawline, the little things that he yearned to have back again. Although Newt no longer flinched away every time Thomas tried to touch him, the blonde never actively sought out the physical affection that lovers normally would. They hardly ever hugged, and never held hands, and Thomas could not remember the last time their lips had touched, which saddened hum greatly. 

Right then, under the covers, Newt's breath tickling his neck reminded him that Newt really did need him, and deep down craved physical comfort from his boyfriend. Thomas gently kissed soft, damp blonde hair and gently tucked the covers around them. 

"Goodnight Newt." He whispered, as he hugged Newt even closer. He slowly let himself drift back off to sleep, in the comforting knowledge that during his worst times, it would be him that Newt would always reach out to. 

He wasn't exactly sure what it was that woke him up, but he immediately noticed the missing body warmth that he had fallen nestled up against. Sitting up in an empty bed, he rubbed at his eyes until the sharp red numbers on his digital clock became less blurred. It was not long gone three in the morning, and the world was dark and almost silent. 

He stumbled out of bed, bare feet sinking into soft plush carpet. The nights were generally warm, his boxers and white vest more than enough for him to sleep soundly in. However his blonde hot water bottle had evaporated away, and he wouldn't get much more sleep without it. He made his way down the darkened stairwell, following the soft glow of light emanating from the kitchen at the back of the house.

Newt was perched on the counter by the kitchen sink, his legs dangling over the side as he stared glumly into the empty mug he was clutching on to. Blatantly consumed in his thoughts, he looked almost like a kid as he swung his legs back and forth dressed in just his baggy grey sweatpants. Thomas rapped his knuckles on a counter, making Newt jump slightly, earning an embarrassed smile.

"Hey." Thomas said quietly. Newt's eyes were bright and slightly pink, signs that he had been crying.

"Couldn't sleep?" Newt blinked tiredly at him with a shrug. 

"You had nightmares again." Thomas continued the one sided conversation as he put the kettle on to boil. He gently plucked the mug from Newt's loose grip and put a fresh tea bag inside. "Can you remember them at all?"

The response came as a huff. "I just remember...feeling trapped... and scared, and I just know that _he_ was there." He sniffed to quiet an escaping sob, keeping his eyes down into his mug. "Sorry" Newt apologized. "I didn't want you to see me like this."

Thomas was by his side in a heartbeat. He nestled himself between Newt's legs, holding the man gently by the sides. "Hey,hey, don't apologize for telling me how you feel okay? Not ever. That's what I'm here for." It was the first time Newt had spoken about his ordeals at all, and Thomas did not want to discourage him. "I am here for you, Newt. If you need to cry, or shout, or scream at someone, then do it. Don't hold anything in, it's not good for you." He brushed a damp cheek with the back of his hand; Newt leaned into the touch. "You can do it with me." 

"I know... I guess I thought if I tired to carry on like normal, I would stop feeling, you know? And I didn't want anyone worrying about me when it wasn't their problem to worry about. But when I woke up tonight, you were there holding me, and I felt so warm and safe that all I wanted to do was talk to you but I didn't want to wake you, so I came down here and made tea. Typical Brit huh?"

Thomas pulled Newt gently into him, holding him as close to him as he could. "You should have woken me up; you're far too considerate. But I'm glad you feel safe with me, that's good to know."

He felt Newt squeeze him back, and legs wrapped around his own. "Yeah I do." 

They stayed that way for a while, silently enjoying being in each other's arms all over again. The only sounds was the steady ticking of the wall clock.

"I'm so lucky to have you." Newt spoke up.

"Ditto." Thomas replied.

Newt sat upright, his hands idly playing with Thomas' hair as he stared into his eyes. 

"I've just felt so lost lately." The Brit admitted. "I thought quitting my job would close an old chapter, and open a new path. Instead I have no idea what to do next, and now with Mum gone, and you and Teresa looking forward to meeting her new baby, I just feel out of sync with everything."

Newt's locked up thoughts and feelings gushed out of him like a torrent of water over a dam that had finally weakened after holding it all in for too long.

"Instead of looking forward I'm stuck remembering backwards. My mind replays everything over and over and I can't break the cycle. I can still see him bearing down on me, I can smell his dirt and his stinking breath, I can still feel his groping hands and -" He broke off to catch his breath, a look of helplessness on his face. "Tommy how am I ever going to move forward if I can't escape the past?"

Thomas held Newt's face in his hands, touching their brows together and looked directly into shimmering pools of chocolate. "Together."

He brushed his lips softly against Newt's, tentatively asking permission. Newt looked into his eyes in a way that he hadn't in a long time, a way that stirred something deep inside Thomas. 

"Tommy?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you gonna kiss me or just stare at me like a lost puppy? 

He smiled. Not wanting to miss the opportunity, he kissed Newt with weeks worth of pent up passion. He was hungry, and he relished the taste of the blonde's sweet lips as they massaged his. Newt pulled away quickly, panting hard with flushed cheeks. 

"You okay?" Thomas panicked he had dived in to quickly. 

Newt's answer came not in words, but in tongue, and any concerns Thomas had were soon forgotten. 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chuck

Thomas leapt into the passenger seat, barely able to contain his own excitement as he landed on the soft padded chair. It was the very early hours of the morning, but despite his lack of sleep, he felt wide awake. He fiddled with the dials of the radio and fidgeted with his seat belt, unable to sit still as he bounced in his seat. He was buckled in and still tuning in the radio when his less energetic partner opened the driver's door. 

"Come on Newt, Hurry up! Let's get this show on the road!" He called to try and speed up the process as much as he could, as he had been since being woken up.

The blonde merely rolled his eyes, ignoring Thomas' urging as he took his place behind the wheel. He placed his thermal cup of fresh coffee firmly in the cup holder between them. The aroma filled the car with the comforting scent of ground coffee beans mixed with sweet vanilla. Newt finally fiddled with the rear view mirror, squinting in the darkness as he searched for the right spot.

"I know this is big and you're excited Tommy, but can you give me a minute to wake up before I drive? I don't want to crash and burn us before you get to meet the guy. He's not going anywhere anytime soon so just chill a little bit yeah?" The order was firm but softly laced with an endearing fondness.

"Okay, okay." Thomas agreed as he tried to calm himself down. He couldn't argue with the sense in Newt's words. He was far too excitable to be in charge of a vehicle, leaving Newt as the only reliable option, and he wanted to get to the hospital in one piece. Letting the driver blink away his drowsiness before taking off seemed a wise idea.

"I just can't quite believe that I'm an uncle." He worded his thoughts. "I mean, I knew it was coming, but so much was going on I guess I kinda thought Teresa would be pregnant forever." He scoffed at the ridiculousness of his own words, but they were true. He had seen so little of Teresa during the last nine months that it didn't seem to him as if she should be having a baby yet. Though he could imagine Teresa would be thinking the exact opposite; finally glad to have her body back for her and her alone.

The phone call had come only minutes ago. A very over-whelmed sounding Minho informing Thomas that his sister had given birth to a brand new baby boy. His tired mind somehow managed to process the words and he had leapt out of bed and gotten himself dressed and ready to go in record time; badgering Newt to hurry the whole time. 

In their hurry dressing meant merely pulling on their pyjama pants, the first tee they could find and whatever shoes they had stumbled across first. Newt was slower to wake up, and took a couple of minutes to realise what was happening. Thomas wished he could take the time to fawn over how cute the blonde looked with bed hair, rubbing his tired eyes as he sat up in bed surrounded by a pool of sheets. Instead he had bossed his lover out of bed and out into the dark night. Though Newt had demanded the time to make coffee if Thomas wanted to get anywhere near the hospital that night and so Thomas had obliged.

"Uncle Tommy." Newt now mused quietly as he sipped at his drink, his eyes still half-lidded. Thomas quirked an eyebrow at him, glancing over at the tired looking blonde. 

"You'd relinquish your exclusivity to that nickname?" Thomas grinned at Newt's thinking out loud. The blonde shrugged nonchalantly. 

"I think I could bear to share it with the little guy, it's cute. Unless you prefer Uncle Tom?" Thomas made a face at the name, making Newt chuckle. Uncle Tom made him think of an eighty year old man sat in his armchair with his pipe and newspaper, rocking back and forward as his final days passed away. He wasn't quite there yet. 

"Uncle Tommy it is." He agreed. "Now... can we go?" He was running out of patience. He stuck out his bottom lip and used his best puppy eyes he could muster, knowing Newt was defenseless against them. A trait that he exploited frequently, much to the other's annoyance. "Pleeeeeeeease?"

Newt sighed in response. "Dammit you're so cute it's criminal." He admitted. "Fine, hang on a sec." He quickly drained the rest of his coffee in one large gulp and winked at Thomas. "Ready?" 

Thomas slapped the dashboard playfully. "Onward driver!" 

Newt stared at him blankly, eyebrows raised high.

"Too far?" He cocked his head to one side, quickly bringing the puppy eyes back into play.

The blonde just shook his head in dismay, a small smirk betraying him as he put the car into gear and drove off in the direction of the general hospital. The journey was quiet and quick, the roads were clear of traffic and, as easy as the drive was, Thomas could see Newt was too tired to talk and concentrate on the road at the same time. So he remained silent, allowing the white noise of early morning radio to wash over him. Soon the hospital stood tall above them, and Newt pulled up in the near empty parking lot, finding an empty space with ease. The sky was black satin, the air cool and calm, and the grand building lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Hey do you think Jeff still works here?" 

The question took Thomas by surprise. So much had happened since hat he had nearly forgotten, but of course the last time they were here Newt had been hospitalized after being pushed over a high balcony from a drunk, and enraged Alby. Thomas could still remember his angry attempt at revenge for the ruthless act against the man he was, back then, falling in love with. He recalled the sharp knife buried in his hand, the not knowing whether Newt would ever walk properly again.

Newt still limped slightly when tired, but it still amazed Thomas how little the blonde let it show. Jeff had been more than just a nurse back then, he had been a friend, a consultant, a confidant. Thomas felt guilty that he had forgotten the guy, but obviously Newt had not. It was good though that Newt openly spoke about those times, it showed real strength. Little by little, old Newt was returning. 

"Maybe, we should find out whilst were here. It'd be nice to see him again, I never did thank him for all he did." 

"Me neither." Newt said quietly, his eyes lowered to his legs. "It's weird to think that so much has happened since we were here last. It's nice to be back for something so wonderful."

Thomas ruffled Newt's hair playfully, a warmth spreading in his chest when Newt did not recoil away, but actually seemed to lean into the touch for a moment. "Definitely. Out with the old and in with the new. Ready to meet him?" 

Newt bought a parking ticket, and the two men made their way into the tall structure. They met Minho immediately in the foyer, pacing back and forth restlessly. He stopped when he saw them walk through the automatic doors, the whooshing sound catching his attention. He looked drained, both emotionally and physically. Like Thomas and Newt, Minho could not have spent an awful amount of time on dressing, joining them in their pyjama party. 

"Congratulations buddy!" He met his best friend in a tight bear hug. "How's T?"

Minho fidgeted out of the hug. "Thanks, she's fine, just exhausted, we've been here since yesterday afternoon. It was a long labour, my hands still hurt from her grip."

"I wouldn't complain about pain in front of Teresa if I were you." Newt quipped, giving the new father a friendly smack on the back. "Congrats Dad." 

"So can we see them?" Thomas was eager to congratulate his sister, and say hello to his brand new nephew. His friend however, who seemed more interested in the comings and goings of the corridors than his friends, seemed less keen. 

"I dunno Thomas, she really needs to get some sleep, in face she probably is asleep right now."

Thomas exchanged a look with Newt who raised his eyebrows behind Minho's back. "Well then can we see your son?" The Brit asked flatly, showing his impatience with one skeptical hand on his hip.  

Minho rubbed the back of his head bashfully. "Yeah, thing is, they just got him off to sleep too. He's a crier, would rather if we didn't disturb him."

"Well we can just look through the window, that wouldn't be disturbing him right?" Newt did not relent, and Thomas could sense his friend squirming, about to buckle under the blonde's persistence. 

"Everything okay Minho?" He came to his friend's rescue, a sudden sense of worry hitting him. Had something happened to the baby during or since the birth? Was Teresa okay? He couldn't think of any other reason for Minho's odd behaviour. 

"Yes everything's fine." Minho assured him. "It's just er... not a good time."

"If it's not a good time then why did you call us out?" Newt questioned again. Thomas awed at his boyfriend, no wonder he had been so good at his last job. If Minho and Newt were ever in court together, there was no doubt in his mind who would win. 

"Because it was a good time when I did?" Minho whimpered, questioning his own version of events.

"Look Minho." Thomas had had enough, this was not what he had expected to greet him when he walked into the hospital. No doubt the newly appointed father was exhausted and a little dazed, but by now he should be saying hello to the new member of his family, not standing in the lobby debating appointment times. "What is going on here? What aren't you telling us?"

"Okay, Okay," Minho buckled, running his hands through his thick mop of black hair in a fluster. "Your er... parents are here." The last bit came out as a hushed whisper, but the words hit Thomas like a cannonball on a brick wall.

"What?" He spat through gritted teeth. How could they be here? They lived hours away, and Newt had made the journey less than fifteen minutes after Thomas received the call. "How? Why?"

"Hey, one question at a time." Minho stalled for time, but when all that met him were two pairs of serious brown eyes he carried on without hesitation. "Well when I got Teresa here yesterday she was scared, and was working herself into such a state. Nothing I was doing was helping, and I panicked and called your mother. I just thought she would offer words of advice over the phone, some comfort, but a few hours later both of them arrived without warning. I've tried moving them on but they don't want to leave until Teresa is ready to go home. I'm sorry Thomas, I didn't know what else to do."

Thomas clenched his fists to stop his hands from shaking. Would his parents always taint every big moment of his life. "What else to do? You call me that's what you do!"

A gentle hand graced his shoulder pulling him down from his sudden rage high. Newt gave him a concerned look. "Thomas calm down, this isn't Minho's fault. This is his day, and Teresa's, not yours. I know it's difficult, but your parents are going to be a part of the new baby's life just as much as you are, and you are going to bump into them every once in a while." 

Newt's hand moved to his back, massaging as Thomas let the wise words sink in. He was acting an arse. Minho just became a Dad, and here he was talking down to him over something that was totally out of his control. He looked over at his friend who stood slightly slumped, his eyes full of unwarranted apology. 

"Minho I'm sorry." Thomas apologised. "Forget my parents, they're not important. How do you feel? Papa Min."

"Weird." He replied. "I held my son in my arms today... my son you know? He looked me into my eyes, and it was just like looking into mine, only I was looking into Teresa's as well. It felt... right." Thomas beamed.

"You're so soft mate. I'm chuffed for you I really am. You got a name for the lil man yet?"

"I'll tell you when you meet him." Minho teased. 

Newt smiled fondly at them. "Okay Papa Min and Uncle Tommy, are we ready to?" He gestured for Minho to lead the way.

Thomas took a deep inhale of breath, calming his nerves, knowing somewhere on his route were two people he dearly wanted to see, and two he wanted to stay well clear of. "Sure thing Uncle Newty let's go." He stuck his tongue out cheekily at Newt's abashed look at the nickname and Minho joined him in laughing at the blonde's red cheeks. 

"Never Newty Tommy, never Newty." The blonde chided.

"Aw come on Newty." Thomas slung an arm around his boyfriends neck and started walking him down the right corridor behind a still chucking Minho. "You need to get used to it, cause I'm gonna make sure my nephew calls you Newty." The groan he earned made him laugh again, and not even Newt could help but join in. Nurses glanced at the three laughing men with a smirk as they walked by. 

"Of course you would have to show up eventually." The cold voice cut their lightened mood like an axe cuts a twig. They met his father at a crossroad of corridors, the stern looking man was holding two plastic cups of coffee, and wore a sour look of disdain on his face. He saw the man's eyes flicker from him, to Newt, and back to him, before settling on the arm he had wrapped around the blonde. It clicked in his head Newt had not yet had the pleasure of meeting his father. He felt Newt tense in his hold and he squeezed back assuredly.

Thomas hadn't seen his dad since he received a hard blow to his jaw, sprawling him on the floor at his sister's wedding reception. He could honestly say he never wanted to see his father again. 

"I'd apologise but I'm not sorry." He shot back "Where's Mum?"

Mr Greene raised his hands, gesturing the two coffees he was holding. "With Teresa, waiting for these. Now if you don't mind, we are spending time with our daughter and grandson, you can come back later." Thomas gritted his teeth as the older man turned to walk down the corridor that led to the maternity ward. He had taken two steps when a British accent filled the air, stopping him in his tracks.

"I don't think it works like that." Thomas' insides turned to ice as Newt spoke to his father with the tone of someone explaining something simple and boring to someone too dense to understand. Mr Greene turned around slowly, his eyes cold frost, staring ice daggers at the blonde. The man's lips curled into a slow, cruel smirk, startlingly close to how Newt would smirk when he had acid on his own tongue. 

"You must be Newt. I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting the toy that lured my son down to your level of... breeding." Something snapped inside Thomas and he went to lunge forward, to do what, even he did not know, but Minho's firm grip on the back of his shirt held him in place. His father's eyes flickered to his briefly, amusement dancing around them before returning to Newt.

"Charmed I'm sure." Newt calmly shot back with such an amount of sass Thomas couldn't believe it came from the timid Newt he had been living with recently. "Shall we get moving? That coffee will get cold otherwise."

As if to test the theory, the elder took a sip out of one cup, seemingly satisfied with the temperature he continued with his guarding stance. "I don't think you heard me, now is not your turn. Go away, and you can come back later."

Thomas could feel Minho itching to escape the madness that was brewing between his best friend's partner and his new father-in-law. A difficult position to be in, and one Thomas didn't envy him for. 

"Minho." He whispered. "I'm sure T is wondering where you've got to, go check in on her. Don't tell her were here though, she'll only worry." The Asian gave him a look of complete gratitude before making his excuses and briskly made his way past Mr Greene and down the corridor. He whispered a warning not to start any trouble on his way past them. Thomas knew he had heard it, but he wasn't so sure that Newt had. 

"Mr Greene." Newt addressed Thomas' father coldly. "All we need is ten minutes to see Teresa and her baby and we will be out of your hair." Thomas moved to protest at the lack of time but Newt held his hand up quickly to stop him. "You can sit outside and drink your coffee, and before you know it we'll be out your way. Easy no?"

"No." Came the stern reply. "I do not take orders from anyone, not from my wife, not from my children, and certainly not from my son's fuck toy. Now, blondie, you listen to me. I've been waiting to finally meet the pretty boy who Thomas is so infatuated with, and I have to give it to you - I'm impressed. You've got a voice, and you've got balls, but I will not stand having you around my family do you hear me? You've already tainted one of my brood, I won't have you have any impressions on another, certainly not my grandson."

Thomas was rooted to the spot only by the firm hand holding on to his. He gripped Newt's hand back hard; he didn't have to look to know his knuckles were white, but Newt did not complain. He heard the blonde take a sharp intake of breath as he endured the wicked tongue of his father. All he wanted to do was lunge at the man and pummel him black and blue - respect your elders could go to hell, it would be worth it. He hated him, loathed him, he wished he would just vanish for good. Thankfully Newt was right next to him, and all it took was a gentle squeeze to keep him in check.

"You don't like me very much do you sir?" Newt asked with mock innocence. Thomas could feel Newt physically shake next to him, out of fear, or anger he couldn't be sure, but the blonde's voice came out smooth as silk. 

"Don't play dumb with me. I know what your job is, so I know you're smarter than that. Yes, I do not like you. I didn't like you before I met you, and now that I have, I like you even less. My Thomas could do so much better than you. He could have a wife, kids, a family of his own and with us. But no. I guess fucking you seemed a wiser option."

Thomas hated being talked about in the third person, his own father refusing to even direct the conversation at him. He wanted to call out, to shout the man down but his voice failed him. He had not expected to have this encounter, and was unprepared to deal with it. He felt Newt's warmth hold leave him and suddenly before he knew it Newt had taken several steps forward, squaring up to Mr Greene. The blonde wore a sneer that look strange on his delicate face, strange but very real. 

"You're right Sir." Newt held his hands out in admittance. "Thomas does fuck me." Thomas blinked hard as he heard each word slip out of Newt's mouth, astonishing him, and strangely arousing him at the same time. "He fucks me hard, and he fucks me good; so good that I scream."

Mr Greene's face turned to stone, stone worn and stained red. "He makes me feel loved, and safe, and warm. He looks after me, and takes care of me. Did you know he saved my life? When everyone else had given up, he struggled on and saved me. He loves me, and I know that he loves his sister, and he hasn't even met him yet but he loves his new nephew too. So I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some stuck up old timer, with no love left in him, and a stiff broom up his ass stop him from seeing his family. Do you understand Sir?"

Thomas couldn't believe his ears. He stared at his father as he seemed like a volcano ready to erupt but couldn't. Some nurses had began to make their way down the corridor towards them, and Newt had kept so calm during his speech that they had not heard him. Thomas knew his Dad would not be able to maintain his cool so well.

"How. Dare You." He spat out, spittle spraying Newt in the face. The blonde grimaced, but stood his ground, wiping his face with his sleeve. "You won't get away with speaking to me like that you little freak of nature."

As the nurses walked past them, Newt grabbed Thomas' hand and walked past a flabbergasted Mr Greene. Thomas could not have felt more proud or delighted if he could. His Dad had finally received the talk down he deserved, and from Newt of all people. 

"Newt that was amazing, I fucking love you." He said as soon as they had made good progress away from his angered father and towards where Minho stood outside a glass window. 

"You can thank me later." Newt smiled at him sheepishly, his usual pale face now turning crimson red as what he had just done sunk in. 

"Thank you?" Thomas asked. "Newt after that speech I wanna do a lot more than that to you."

If red could go redder then Newt's face did exactly that. Thomas mentally chided himself, talking about sex so casually. They hadn't done anything close to intercourse since Alby, and it was still a touchy subject. However, Newt only smiled sheepishly as he blushed even harder, which put Thomas more at ease. The blonde was finally becoming more like himself again. Newt always talked about how Thomas had saved him from his demons when he was helpless too. But now it seemed it worked both ways. They both had demons in their lives that they were unable to face alone; but together they could take on anything, and anyone. 

Minho was practically hopping on the spot in anticipation when they reached him. He seemed surprised that it was them he was speaking to.

"What the shuck happened? Where's your Dad Thomas?

Thomas held Newt's hand up in triumph, beaming proudly. "He met Newt. You probably won't see him in a while, I'm sure he's skulked off somewhere to lick his wounds."

"No way!" Minho's genuine shock made them both laugh. "Way to go Newty!" 

Newt pointed a finger at the raven haired man. "Cut that y off the end of my name, or you'll get your own tongue-lashing understood?" It was done in fun, but Minho promptly promised to stop the blonde's new nickname. Thomas however, did not.

"So can we go in?" He asked, once again excited to see the new part of their family. Minho nodded and opened the door, ushering them in in front of him. The spacious room was well heated and comfortable looking, painted in calming blues and greens with a laminated floor. A small television sat suspended in one corner, and basic furniture surrounded the bed which stood centre stage. In it, looking very tired, with a wrapped up bundle in her arms, lay Teresa.

As tired as she looked, she seemed to glow with quiet happiness as she watched them enter. Thomas noticed their mother was sound asleep on a small two-seater, her legs tucked up under a blanket. 

"Hey" Thomas cooed. He knelt down by the bed, leaning gently on the edge of the bed close to his sister. She met his eyes with a proud and loving gaze, happy to see him, and moved on to look behind him were Newt stood with the same expression. "How you doing?" 

"Tired." She admitted quietly. "He didn't want to come out of me. I had different ideas."

Thomas stared at the linen bundle cradled in her arms. Teresa must have seen his gaze; she tilted her arms slightly, showing off her bundle of joy for all of them to see. The newborn was all clean and white, an adorable mixture of it's parent's ethnicity. A thick fuzz of light brown hair already stood proud on it's crown. He had the nose of the father, and the mouth of his mother. Cheeks so round and squishy, he looked so peaceful with his eyes closed gently, dark lashes standing out against his pale skin. Surrounded by white cloth, and in his mother's arms, he looked... "Perfect." He uttered breathlessly. "Teresa he's perfect."

"Like a china doll." Newt observed. "Good job T."

Teresa's smile was tired but genuine. "Thanks Newt." She gazed down at her sleeping son. "Hey mister, your Uncle and Godfather are here to meet you. You're gonna see a lot of them, so you better learn to love them." 

"What's his name?" Thomas asked, hardly taking in Teresa's words despite Newt chuckling behind him. His sister looked up at them, proud as punch.

"Thomas, Newt... I'd like you to meet Chuck."

As if responding to his name, little Chuck fidgeted slightly in his mother's arms, mouth twitching as he slept. Thomas never took his eyes off of him whilst he was in that room.

"Hey there Chuck. I'm your Uncle Tommy." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Godfather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for the delay on this. Hope you all had a good Xmas, or I guess I should say Merry Newtmas, and I wish you all a Happy New Year :)

It was inevitable that there would only be a short respite before Thomas would find himself required to socialize with his sorry excuse for parents again. A newborn baby, like weddings and funerals, demands that a family come together, and that familial interaction must take place, whether they wanted to or not. Thus, only a few days after Chuck was brought home with his parents did Thomas find himself stuck in a room with such a mix of desirable, and undesirable relations that only his family could provide. Not moments after they had returned home, Teresa had called round, insisting that everyone be there to welcome the new Greene home. It had taken heavy guilt at the thought of not going, and a lot of persisting from Newt for him to be there at all.

Said home was a two bedroom apartment nearer to the city than their own, with a fair sized lounge, cosy kitchen, and bathroom to match. Perfectly adequate for three, cosy and comfortable for five, and tight and awkwardly close for seven. Seating area was limited, and the new little family took their deserved pride of place on a cushioned love seat; little Chuck nestled in his mother's arms under the watchful gaze of his father. Thomas' own mother was perched on what little room was left on the edge, gushing over Teresa and Chuck and offering words of wisdom. 

 _As if she has the right to say what a good mother is and what one does._ His eyes twitched darkly to his father who had set up residence in the only spare armchair. The other he had stacked up high with gifts for the little one, leaving no more available seating for either Thomas or Newt. The two of them had started the session busying themselves with making tea, coffee and sandwiches for the seated, enjoying their private time in the kitchen away from the tension. Sadly such menial kitchen tasks quickly dried out, and they had been left with no choice but to reside with the others.

Newt had promptly positioned himself at the doorway, leaning on its frame casually, his arms folded loosely across his chest. Thomas had wanted to stand there with him, with one arm around his waist as they usually would when standing together, but they had both agreed before coming not to flaunt themselves as an actual couple. They were on very thin ice after the incident at the hospital, Newt especially, and they didn't want to get caught up in any more aggravation. His father had already made it clear how unwelcome they were, and that he was only keeping the peace for Teresa's sake. His mother had taken the trouble to shake Newt's hand, even after hearing of the argument, but other than that had not said a word. 

Thomas knew Newt was capable of holding his ground, but he knew how volatile his own father could be. He himself had been struck down at Teresa's wedding, and he wouldn't want to guess what could befall Newt if he agitated the older man enough. He liked his blonde's boldness, it was good to see again, but he didn't want it to cause a setback that could result in Newt getting hurt again; he couldn't bear it. 

So Thomas sat on the floor near Minho, making small talk with his best friend whilst Newt quietly sipped at his tea on the other side of the room. He found strangely alone without the blonde next to him, despite knowing everyone there. Newt had reminded him that Teresa, Minho and Chuck were his family too, and that he should be in the thick of it, not on the outskirts where he wanted to be. From where he sat he could hear Chuck's mindless gurgling, his Mother and Teresa's idle conversation along with the occasional interjection from Minho. Among it all he could feel a pair of eyes fixated upon him. He refused to look at his father, but he knew his father was looking at him. 

"So... how are _things?_ " Thomas rolled his eyes at Minho's question. He had already asked him about Homestead things, and Thomas things, and latest news things. The emphasis on the not yet discussed 'things' made it blatant Minho wanted to talk about Newt. He hardly felt like discussing him when he was right there in the room with them, probably within earshot - much to Minho's obliviousness. 

"Never better." He answered truthfully. "You saw at the hospital." He kept his words vague and to the point, much to his relief Minho seemed to understand.

"Yeah I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't have seen it with my own two eyes." He was whispering now, which to Thomas made their discussion ever more obvious. Fortunately the ladies were too busy in their baby talk to pay them any attention, and Newt seemed more interested in what was at the bottom of his mug than the room. His father was looking at him still, but whether he had picked up on any words or not Thomas couldn't tell.

Chuck began to wriggle, and Minho's attention was taken away. Thomas let his eyes drift until they lay on Newt. He left them there until he caught the blonde's attention, and an endearing little frown to boot. Thomas offered a pleading look, and twitched his hand in a stealthy beckoning motion signalling his desire. 

_Come sit with me._

He couldn't be sure if Newt understood his intention, the blonde just offered a small smile and a shake of the head.  _No Tommy,_ he could imagine the Brit's thoughts. Newt had instructed him to spend time with his family, but how could he do that when such a huge chunk of it was skulking in the doorway? He couldn't wait for his parents to go back home, far away, where they couldn't just pop up when least expected. It wasn't fair, Newt's parents were so perfect, why were they the ones who lived on the other side of the world?

"Oh baby don't cry." Teresa's soft voice brought him out of his trance, he blinked to see Newt smirking at him. He must have been staring. 

His sister must have seen discomfort in her son's face as seconds later Chuck's newborn cries filled the room; harsh on everyone's eardrums. 

"Is he hungry?" His own mother voiced her suggestion in a heartbeat.

"I fed him not long ago." Teresa dismissed the idea. "He just gets grouchy when he's tired."

"Don't we all." Newt chimed in, his comment tugging upwards at the corners of Thomas' mouth. His father rolled his eyes, whilst Minho openly laughed at the wry observation. Chuck meanwhile, continued to cry. 

"Give him to me dear, let Nana have a go." Mrs Greene held her arms out to take her grandson before Teresa could think twice. "There, there little one." She whispered in dulcet tones once Chuck was safely in her hold. Teresa relaxed into her husband, seemingly pleased for the break. "It's alright, go to sleep." She rocked him slowly back and forth, shushing all the while, but Chuck's cries did not stop.

"Pass him here." Minho took his son after five minutes with no success. "He's tired, but getting him to actually go to sleep is never easy." The bags under the new parent's eyes stood as testimony to that. After a short while in his father's arms, Chuck was still persistently making noise. Mr Greene stood up to take a turn, and after him Teresa tried again, before Thomas found the little bundle placed in his arms.

"Uh, hey there buddy." Thomas remained crossed legged on the floor, ignoring his growing headache as he cradled Chuck. It felt strange holding a life like that, strange, but right. "What's up with you hm?" He felt embarrassed talking to an unresponsive baby in front of an audience of adults. Chuck just stared up at him, big brown eyes gazing up into his own, so much like Teresa's, He rocked the baby in his arms for a few moments of blessed silence, before Chuck decided to resume his crying, only louder than before.

"Woah, woah hey!" Thomas felt hopeless as he gently shook his arms the way he saw Minho did. 

"This could go on for a while." Teresa sighed, her tired eyes closed in defeat. Thomas scanned the room, ignoring his father's judgmental look. He caught Newt studying him curiously from his leaning position.  

"Newt, help me out here would ya?" He pleaded, still rocking the screaming baby from side to side. He lifted the baby up for a moment, gesturing to the blonde as if he might not know what he was talking about. His partner hesitated for a moment, clearly not expecting to be called upon so soon for baby duty. 

"Yeah Godfather, it's your turn." Teresa egged on, still resting her eyes. 

"Godfather." Mr Greene scorned, receiving a scowl from his daughter for his trouble. Thomas ignored him completely, and to his pleasure so did Newt.

"Okay, okay, pass him here." Newt stepped carefully across the floor that was littered with new baby toys. Chuck did not stop his noise making as Thomas gently placed him in Newt's waiting arms. 

"There ya go."

"Thanks Tommy."

They exchanged a quick look as the baby was held between them that made Thomas' heart melt for a moment. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but whatever it was, he liked it. It was something warm, a connection, a silent understanding that only they shared.

Newt looked surprisingly at home cradling the baby as he paced the length of the room, bouncing softly as he went, and Thomas couldn't keep the smile from his face.

"Hey there Chuckie." The blonde looked down at the wailing child. "What's bugging you exactly? Are all these mean people playing pass the parcel with you?"

The crying dampened to sniffles, and Thomas could see Chuck was looking up at Newt the same way he had looked at him.

"I know, I talk funny." Newt replied to the look of wonderment Chuck was giving him. He continued to rock his arms back and forth as he almost danced from one side of the too to the other. "You'll get used to it. Heck, who knows, you might even grow up to talk like me if I try hard enough."

"Oh no he won't." Teresa interjected in easy humour.

Newt looked down at Chuck with mock scandal on his face. "Oh no." He drolled. "Mummy said no, Chuckie."

Thomas grinned at the nickname that sounded similar to the one Newt had bestowed upon him. Chuck must have touched his heart somewhere along the line, and the same must have happened vice versa, for soon silence filled the room, save the quiet breathing of a sleeping baby. 

"Shit Newt." Minho breathed a sigh of relief. "You're a natural, you're never leaving." Thomas couldn't quite tell if his friend was entirely joking, but he was right, Newt was a natural. Watching him with Chuck, Newt seemed so normal, so right, and in his mind Thomas knew that now the time was right. 

Newt just looked at them with a deadpan face.

"He's drooling on my arm."

 

 

 


	6. Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> Sorry for the massive delay on this one, all I can say is that January sucks. 
> 
> Hope you guys like this one, I know you've been waiting for it so i hope I've done it justice.

Gentle rain pattered on the glass windows of The Homestead. It's rhythm was gentle, almost inaudible in it's softness, helping to soothe Thomas' racing heart; if only by a bit. The outside temperature was cool but not cold, even after the sun had set, making the wet weather only a tiny burden to those caught in it. His second home was peacefully still, save for Minho wiping down some tables near the front, leaving him alone in his little make shift sanctuary at the back.

He lit the last wax candle, sighing with content as he turned off the gas lighter and stood back to admire his work. He had moved the usual furniture around, leaving one table nestled in the far corner, away from the eyes of people passing by. Two tall backed individual chairs sat opposite each other, whilst a dark paneled bench sofa ran along the far side of the table against the wall, all made of dark mahogany wood. The table was set for two, covered in a dark red tablecloth, stark white serviettes, and silver cutlery, all awaiting their guests, ready to be used. In the centre stood a small bowl vase of crystal, inside lay a nest of entwined white lilies and silver beads.

Countless candles of different widths and heights decorated the area around the setting on the floor, and placed cascading along the back bench. All shimmered with the same pearly white, and all were newly lit. Between them all they emanated a soft glow just powerful enough to ebb back and forth at the fringes of his creation. The scent was gentle vanilla, the sweet smell mixed with the lilies, reminding Thomas of a gentle breeze over a springtime meadow at sundown.

"Perfect." He convinced himself. Strangely, as soon as he had decided he wanted to propose to Newt, the idea of how he wanted to do it had came to him suddenly. Looking at his creation, it was as close as it could possibly get to his vision.

"Wow." Minho was a dark silhouette, his face only becoming visible once he stepped close enough to the candlelight. Thomas caught the look of approval in his dark eyes, and was satisfied he had done a good job. "Who knew you were such a romantic."

Thomas shrugged his shoulders. "I try. You think Newt will like it?"

His friend gave him an exasperated look. "He'll love it, stop worrying. I'm feeling so relaxed just looking at it I feel like drifting off to sleep."

"That's not what I want to happen." Thomas frowned, the last thing he wanted was to get down on one knee only to look up to see Newt fast asleep at the table.

"Christ mate will you chill?" Minho walked behind the counter, once again becoming a shadow against the streetlights outside. He fumbled around for a few moments, then soft jazz music played from strategically placed speakers around the floor. "You've done a great job, hell better than I could ever have hoped to come up with. Seriously, I need you to set me one of these up for Teresa."

"What? You mean nothing better than the back of a closed coffee shop?" Thomas couldn't help but second guess himself. He sunk into one of the chairs, a growing feeling of doom nesting within him. Minho joined him, his dark eyes growing only darker as they seemed to absorb the candlelight.

"This place is more than that to you. To both of you. This will mean more to him than some swanky restaurant where the wine starts at 300 bucks a glass. That wouldn't impress him anyways you know that." Minho gestured to their makeshift surroundings. "This will though. And besides, like I said, this means a lot to you too, I can understand why you want it to happen here."

Thomas nodded, the homestead in both of its incarnations had played a major role in their lives, and he couldn't think of anywhere else he would want to propose.

"We met here." He reminisced. "I think I fell for him straight away. The shop was dead, it was raining heavily outside, and it was just the two of us."

"Yes, I seem to remember you pining for a whole week after he left and hadn't come back for that 'free drink' you offered him. God you were so melodramatic."

"Hey I wasn't that bad. But... yes, it wasn't until the following week I saw him again. We were closed and I was just about to go out when he knocked on the door. I let him in, and we talked for hours, huddled together in the back of the shop."

"Exactly where we are now?" Minho pointed at the two chairs that had taken centre stage.

"Not exactly, what with the fire and all, but more or less. We talked as if we'd known each other for years, but with the same excitement when you meet someone new. We had a connection, I know it sounds stupid, but I felt it. He had this small scar just under his eye, I remember noticing it when the sunlight reached us."

"A scar?" Minho questioned.

"Alby." Thomas explained curtly, his friend nodded in acknowledgement, saying no more on the matter. 

"We've been through so much here, Aris, Sonya, Alby... but it wasn't all bad you know? This was where we met, this was where he ran too to get away from home, when he chose to come to me because it was where he felt safe." He smiled as the memories came back to him. "It has to be here." 

"Well, good luck buddy. What's your plan of action?"

Thomas looked out at the now heavier rain outside.  _Just like it was._ "Simple, I text him to meet me here. I will reenact out first encounter. I will start by making us both a Chai Latte. We will enjoy a nice dinner, talk, reminisce as we have been, enjoy the evening, and then I will propose." He paused for a moment as he recited it again in his head.

"Sounds rather easy when spoken out loud doesn't it?" 

 _But what if he's not ready? What if this is all just a huge mistake?_ He crushed the doubtful thoughts with a mental fist. Rising out of his chair, he faffed with the cutlery, busying himself by making sure they were in place. Minho reclined in his chair, looking far too comfortable. _Maybe he will fall asleep_. Thomas cleared his throat.

"So, not to sound rude, but I kinda need you to leave now." He was grateful for Minho, for his friend had left tonight free of any parties he might have had made money from booking. He had also helped Thomas prepare the food which was ready and waiting to be served out of sight. 

"Yeah yeah, I'm going. Teresa will be going mental thinking about you tonight, make sure you call us and tell us how it goes."

"If I'm lucky I might not have time for that." He winked with false bravado. Nothing has happened between him and Newt sexually since Alby had snatched him away. The thought that Alby had been the last one to do anything to Newt made his blood boil, but he made himself stay patient; for Newt's sake. He hoped tonight would be the first paving stone on their path back to being proper lovers again. Not just that, but as a couple committed to marriage. 

He caught Minho at the door as he was about to leave. "Listen Min, thank you for tonight. I owe you big time."

His best friend just grinned at him. "Just remember I want one of these romantic nights for T. We need one, what with work and Chuck, we barely get anytime for romance."

"You got it." Thomas agreed. He waved Minho off and closed the door behind him, leaving him with nothing more than low jazz and candlelight. He checked on the food, making sure everything was good to go, and then proceeded to wait for his date. 

Minutes passed by achingly. He paced up and down, nerves building inside him in the deathly quiet atmosphere. Once Minho left, it had all become incredibly real very quickly. Thomas had never felt more nervous in his entire life. He busied himself with typing up a menu in a fancy font in the office, and placed a printed copy on each plate. Not necessary, but it kept his mind occupied.

Finally, he heard a loud rap at the door that made him jump out of his skin. Newt stood huddled in the doorway, keeping out of the rain as much as possible with his shoulder hunched high beneath his ears. Thomas raced to let him in.

"Hey Newt." He welcomed the blonde in, using his body to block Newt's sight into the back of the shop as best he could.

"I came as soon as I saw your message. What's so important you had to drag me out in this weather?" Newt responded rather glumly. "What couldn't wait til you got ho-"

"Close your eyes!" Thomas interrupted his mumbling boyfriend who looked directly at him strangely.

"What? Why?" Newt inquired, curiosity lacing his words. Thomas could see him try to look past him and he put his hands over the blonde's prying eyes.

"Hey! Tommy what the hell? What are you doing?" Newt tried to step back but found himself against the door with nowhere to go.

"Close your eyes." Thomas repeated softly, but fervently. He smiled when Newt huffed as a child would. 

"...Fine."

"They closed?" Thomas checked.

"Yes."

"You wouldn't lie to me now would you Newt?" He checked again teasingly. 

"For god sake Thomas my eyes are closed!" 

Sensing he was pushing the limit, Thomas took his hands away. He couldn't help but smile as he watched Newt's still face, a slight frown of uncertainty made the otherwise peaceful face that much more perfect. 

"Well?" Newt questioned over a few moments of silence.

"Oh right." Thomas gently placed his hands on Newt's shoulders. The blonde tensed slightly but relaxed right away, much to Thomas' joy. It showed that Newt trusted him a lot, that they were back on track.

"Now take small steps and follow me, I've got you."

"Thomas Greene what are you up to?" Newt followed him slowly and hesitantly towards the back of the shop. Thomas focused on guiding his boyfriend, avoiding letting his bubbling nerves get the better of him. He quirked an eyebrow at the full name, forgetting that Newt could not see it. 

"Who are you my Mother? Actually scrap that, just be good and trust me okay? Were here, you can stop now."

"Can I open my eyes yet?" The impatience pleased Thomas, he loved teasing Newt, and it was such a rare opportunity. 

"Just a second." He moved to stand behind Newt, and placed his hands over closed eyes again. This time Newt didn't protest, but silently waited. Thomas took a moment to enjoy the closeness. Newt was still in his navy rain jacket, Thomas could smell the subtle aftershave under the dampness.

"It's warm in here." Newt commented, using his senses to analyse. "I can smell candle wax...and lilies?"

"Shhhh, let me take your jacket." Thomas uttered from behind, quietening Newt's nasal investigation. Newt surprised him by remaining still as he reached down to slowly unzip the wet clothing. He eased it off, taking his time as he hugged Newt from behind, and hung it on a peg before returning to his original position. Newt was dressed in tight dark jeans, and a loose fitting grey tee, as always making the simple look best. Thomas resisted wrapping his arms around the slender waist, and instead placed his hands over still shut eyes. 

"Okay, I'm gonna remove my hands, and then you can open your eyes, okay?"

"Bloody hell, yes I- ..." Newt must have opened his eyes as soon as Thomas lifted his hands away as he stopped talking immediately. Thomas swallowed hard, this was it, would Newt freak out and run? He sidestepped to view Newt's face, trying to get a sense of feelings from a blank piece of paper. His eyes were wide, absorbing every little detail of the scene that was laid out before him. His pale pink lips sat gaped open slightly, candlelight flickering softly over them. Thomas continue to stare with bated breath at the - no, _his_ beautiful man.

"Tommy you bloody romantic." Newt whispered almost to just himself. His awed eyes danced along the flames, making their way along until they met Thomas. "You did all of this?"

Thomas shrugged, hiding his huge wave of relief, he looked down at the floor, suddenly embarrassed. He was so worried, and so expectant for Newt to react badly that he now didn't know what to do with himself now that the blonde had not done so. "You like it then?" He asked softly, needing to be absolutely sure. Gentle hands taking hold of his provided him with the answer he needed. 

"I love it." Newt squeezed encouragingly, giving Thomas the courage to look the blonde in the eyes. There, the genuine smile that lit up Newt's face made him want to melt there on the spot where he stood. He hadn't seen those sugar brown eyes shine so joyfully in years, and when Newt brushed his lips against his own with a feather-like touch, it took all his self-control not to initiate a hot make-out session right there. 

 _Easy Thomas, let him come to you._ Kisses were a rarity, and always small and sweet, but each one sent Thomas crazy. Newt hummed as he broke away, Thomas stopped himself from leaning forward, already wanting to regain the warm contact again. 

"What brought this on?" There was a tender tentativeness in the way Newt seemed to look into his eyes, searching for what was unknown to him. Newt did not like surprises, at least, not anymore. A plan made behind his back, a hidden motive. In his experience they had always been unwelcome, and unwanted. A surprise wasn't a surprise to Newt, it was an ambush. Which was why Thomas felt so torn over what he should do, and how far he could go. Proposing would be such a huge surprise, good or not, that he felt guilty for wanting to do it.

"Because I love you." Thomas gestured for Newt to take a seat. "And I couldn't recall the last time we went on a date. Not officially anyhow." He left the table, making himself busy at the coffee machine he knew all too well.

"An official date?" Thomas had his back turned, but he knew the blonde had one eyebrow raised in question. He always did. "Do I need to sign something?"

"Yes, and no." Thomas answered both questions as he brought over two steaming cups of hot liquid. "And to be more precise, this is our first date - just... a bit more fancy." He pushed one of the cups into the blonde's hands. "One chai latte."

Newt's laughter was music to his ears. "That was out first date? But I was just a customer."

"You were my only customer." Thomas corrected. "And a super hot one too. We spent time alone, we chatted, we had a drink, I count that as a date." He took a sip from his drink, holding the cup in front of his face, suddenly embarrassed. "Plus I kinda fell for you right there and then." He admitted. 

"Really?" Newt asked quietly after a moment of silence. Thomas shrugged again, a habit he was quickly acquiring - he felt like a teenager again.

"Yeah, just ask Minho. I fawned over you for the whole time til you came back; drove him crazy."

"Oh yes, I forgot Minho was there on our first 'date'.

"He was background noise, forget him, it still counts as a date." Thomas enjoyed the easy banter that had settled quickly between them, even more so the permanent grin that Newt had sported since sitting down. His plan had had its desired effect, taking them back to those moments when they first met, two young men on the cusp of flirting at the back of a deserted coffee place. 

"So you fell for me straight away? Like, love at first sight?" Newt looked pleased as punch at the idea, and it would only be a lie for Thomas to deny him.

"Yeah." Thomas answered simply. He did not want to elaborate  on the rest.  _But then you went back home, and He beat the shit out of you time and time again, whilst I was here make people's damn coffee. I'm sorry Newt, I'm so so sorry._

Newt's grin had also disappeared, no doubt contemplating the same aspect of his life, but from a far more dangerous point of view. No, this was not the past Thomas wanted to give flame to tonight. But how could he not, when the pyre was so encompassing that it touched every part of their history? 

"Hey." He reached across the table and took Newt's hands in his. "I know you've been through hell and back, heck I was there too for most of it. But I'm so glad you walked through that door that rainy afternoon and into my life."

The blonde's smile returned, sweet, and so perfect. "Me too."

Thomas cleared up the used cups and brought out two plates of thick beefburgers, topped with beetroot relish, fries, and homemade coleslaw. He saw slight recognition in Newt's gratified face as he looked down at his plate.

"Remember our second date?"

"What are you labeling as our second date?"

"I took you to the cinema, and we ate at that burger joint?"

"Oh yeah... yeah... I remember..." Thomas saw his eyes darken again.

"Hey- get him out of your head, remember us, our date."

"It still wasn't a date."

"It was the first night we spent together."

"That was because..." 

They both sighed at the familiar roadblock. No matter what road they tried yo go down, Alby always got in their way. Newt began picking at his fries, Thomas just watched, no longer feeling hungry. The ring weighed heavily in his pocket, his mind still unsure what to do. He breathed out heavily when he couldn't take the quietness any longer.

"I'm sorry, tonight was supposed to bring back good memories of us, instead I'm just dragging up ghosts."

Chair legs scraped against the wooden floor as Newt stood up from his seat. He walked round the table and took Thomas completely by surprise by sitting in his lap. He instinctively held the other snugly in place, the weight felt comforting. Newt tapped his chin to make him look up where he found the blonde looking oddly happy. 

"Don't be sorry Tommy. Truth is, we can never ignore Alby's presence in our past. But you know what? It's okay. Because if it wasn't for him, I would never had been roaming the shops as an excuse to not go home. I would never have wondered into this place, and I would never had met you. And for all the shit we've been through, we've been through it all together, and it's only made us stronger. If I had a choice to go back and play my life again, I'd still make the exact same decisions, I'd still go through all of it exactly the same, because I would have you."

"Newt-" Thomas had no words, Newt had set the scene perfectly, and had said all that was needed to be said. As he drew the older man into a deep kiss, he deftly plucked the ring box from his pocket and opened it with one hand, ready for when they broke apart. When Newt pulled back, cheeks flushed and glowing in the candlelight, his eyes landed on the glinting piece of jewellery shining boldly in the darkness. Thomas heard the blonde's breath stop, and he seized his moment.

"Newt, I love you as much, if not more than the day I first met you, and not for one second has that love faltered - not even a notch. Together we've been through so much, and though you're always saying how you drag me into so much drama, you have also done so much more for me than you could ever dream. What we've endured would break so many others, but together we stayed strong and came out the other side."

He cleared his throat, completely captured by Newt's amazed and shocked gaze. The shining unshed tears and look of wonder gave him the courage and certainty to continue.

"Now I would like to ask you, if you would start a brand new life with me. Newt, will you marry me?"

Newt covered his mouth with his hands, eyes pink, body shaking slightly in Thomas' hold. Silently, he gently took the ring out of the box it had been resting in for so long and slipped it onto his ring finger without a moments hesitation. He saw Newt's lips mouth the inscription as he read it, the small scribe barely visible in the dimming light.

' _Thomas Greene & Issac Newton Forever' _

"Bloody hell, of course I'll marry you Tommy."

The sniffled words came with a bone-crushing embrace, followed by a kiss so deep and passionate Thomas nearly fell from his seat. When it ended, he knew he was beaming from ear to ear, a smile big enough to match Newt's. He knew marriage had never been vital to them, but it felt like the perfect thing to do, and the perfect time to do so. Now they could take the next step on their life's journey together as one, and though they would never look back on the rocky road that got them there, they would never, ever, forget it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Returning to Normality

"I saw you flirting with him, don't deny it."

Newt sighed at the question out of aggravation as he put the kettle on to boil. He knew where the conversation was going, most mornings after a night out started with the same verbal tussle. 

"What are you talking about? Who was I supposedly flirting with this time?"

Dark eyes met his, black as coal, and bitter with angry jealousy.

"Luke. I saw you at the bar with him, laughing and standing too close. You let him put his hand round your shoulders."

"So?" Newt shrugged. "Alby, Luke is just a good friend of mine. Were in the same class, and were working on an assignment together that's all. Can I not talk to my friends anymore, or touch another living soul?"

"He wanted to do more than talk, I could see by the way he was leering over you. Like a dog over a piece of fresh meat."

"Alby, this has to stop. Every time we go out, you find someone who I must be planning on hooking up with behind your back. Do you not trust me?"

"I don't trust them."

Newt shook his head. He loved Alby, they had been dating for nearly a year now, but the man's growing jealousy was becoming tiresome. His paranoia was growing greater and greater, and was a weight on Newt's social life.

"You don't help." Alby shot out after moments of tense silence. "You always act single when were out, talking to people, leaving me by the side. No wonder they all think they can have you."

"Excuse me?"

"You always wear tight trousers, the ones that caress your thighs, and low neck tops that show off your collar bone."

"Are you calling me a slut? Because I try and look good for you!"

"Yeah right, you forget I'm even there."

"So I talk to people. Maybe if you did too it wouldn't be such a problem. But you never want to meet any of my friends Alby, you never make an effort. And I'm not spending my nights chained to you if you aren't willing to even try."

"You know what, I think we need a mark." Alby said thoughtfully, ignoring his point entirely.

"A mark?"

"Yeah, something that tells others that you're mine."

"I'm not getting a tattoo Alby, and I am not property. You want people to know I'm yours? Tell them."

"Tattoos a good idea, but I was thinking something more... raw."

"Alby what-" The elder grabbed his wrist and pulled him over to the kettle with such force Newt nearly lost his footing. The vessel began to whistle as it's water reached boiling point, jetting out a chute of steam from it's spout. Newt saw Alby's intention, but could not compute what was happening.

"What are you doing? Let me go! Let me-" His words broke off into screams.

The fresh hot steam ravaged the tender flesh of his wrist, searing it relentlessly as Alby held it in place. Tears blinded him as he wrestled to escape, but Alby held him strong, keeping his scolded skin in direct contact with the kettle's spout. The high pitched whistling of the appliance reverberated in his skull, he shook his head and closed his eyes to escape it.

He opened them to peace and quiet. He touched his wrist to find it clean and unblemished, the skin tingled at the memory. The incident had scarred his skin for months, he had needed medical attention to treat severe burns and tissue damage. He remembered lying to the nurses, and hiding it under a bandage for months from his friends, claiming he had badly strained his wrist. His own kettle clicked, popping him out from his musings, letting him know it had boiled, it's own column of steam evaporating from it's mouth.

Newt sighed, after all these years, the slightest thing was still capable of triggering harsh memories. It was never the extremes that he remembered, the kidnapping, the murdering, the raping. Those had all been practically locked away and forgotten. It was the smaller things, back when they were at college together. Whey they had first begun dating.

Looking back, they had been early warning signs, clear as day, so why had he not read them? Scolding your boyfriend to mark your territory was not a normal thing to do, so why had he accepted it so readily?

_Because you were scared._

_Because you were weak._

_Because you thought you had found your prince, and you didn't want to accept the monster that he was._

_Look how much grief you would have avoided if you had been strong enough to leave him back then. Aris wouldn't have been murdered, nor would Gally._

"I wouldn't have met Thomas either." He debated mentally with himself as he poured the hot water into two mugs.

_But is it worth it?_ He looked at the new metal band on his ring finger. _Why should I be happy at the cost of lives that could have been saved?_

"Newt? Did you say something?" A familiar voice called from the front room.

"No!" He called back, marveling at her Vulcan hearing. He carried the mugs through where his ex-boss was sitting waiting patiently. Ava looked smart and unflappable as always in a white jacket and pencil skirt, grey shirt and high heels. Her hair was done up in it's usual smart bun, and her glasses sat neatly on the bridge of her nose. It was almost as if he had only seen her yesterday, though in reality it had been weeks since he had walked out of her office, and his job. 

She took the mug from him delicately, sipping at the hot liquid before setting it down on the coffee table. Newt mirrored her actions, before continuing with their conversation. Her arrival at his door surprised him, her intentions behind the visit did not, but when she asked the question he was still unprepared. He had made the excuse of making the tea to gather his thoughts; unfortunately Alby had plagued them instead.

"So you want me to return to work?"

She nodded. "Yes, as soon as possible. You left huge shoes to fill when you left, and were not even half way to filling them. Cases are backing up, some remaining unsolved, things are being missed, and paperwork is piling up. I need your help."

He could see she was telling the truth. At first Ava had appeared her normal self, but after sitting with her for a time Newt could see the bags under her eyes, the wisps of hair sticking out when they would usually all be slicked back. She reminded him of a swan, suave and elegant above water, frantic and busied underneath. 

"You know why I left." He spoke plainly. 

"I know." She said quietly. "But I also know you, and I know you loved that job."

Newt bit the inside of his mouth. It was true, he had loved his old job. Home life wasn't for him. At first he needed the time to himself, but recently he had been growing restless. He had searched for other jobs, but could not bring himself to apply for any, knowing that it wasn't what he wanted to do. He also hated leaving all the bread-winning to Thomas. His fiancee had worked longer hours, and more days to help them afford their lifestyle, and Newt missed him in the early evenings and early mornings when he was still at work. Still, he knew Thomas would not like it. In his eyes Ava had failed Newt, nearly costing him his life in her negligence. 

"I don't think I could put myself out there again." 

"You wouldn't have to." Ava was ready with her answers, as she always was. "Newt, I'm offering you a lab only job. There would be no field work for you. All the evidence and data will be provided to you. I just need someone who can look through the evidence, find fresh leads, and help us solve cases. That's what you're good at, that's why I need you. There's no danger to you, and you would not be obliged to stay past reasonable working hours, unless you wanted to."

Newt frowned, he was not expecting that sort of offer. The laboratory was his favourite part of the job, sifting through the data, working out the puzzles, he thrived on it. Now Ava was offering him that as his entire job? 

"Why are you offering me this?"

"Because I need you back." Her eyes were sincere, and the sentiment was touching. Newt couldn't help but feel persuaded. 

"What about my pay? I'd have less responsibility."

"Your pay will remain the same." Ava persisted in the honey talk, offering what any sane man would never refuse.

He mulled it all over in his head, it all sounded so perfect. Ava had nailed it on the head, he wanted this, he wanted this job back - _his_ job back. He had lost his sense of purpose, floating from one day to the next, stuck with his stupid memories. Maybe this was the best thing he could do for himself. But Thomas...

"I need to think about this." He concluded, keeping the door open. He would not commit to anything without talking to Thomas first. Ava finished her tea.

"That's all I had hoped for." She smiled gratefully. "I will leave you to think it over, please call me when you have decided. Thank you for giving me your time Newt, I know you did not have to."

He smiled back at his old boss, "It doesn't matter."

"No it does." She spoke softly. "I haven't forgiven myself for my mistakes, or the trouble they caused you. I can hardly expect you to have done so either."

"What's done is done." He did not fancy digging up anymore of the past than necessary. At the door they hugged goodbye.

"Oh, congratulations." Ava spoke into his ear. "I noticed the ring."

Newt blushed, he had totally forgotten to mention it. "Thank you."

"Give my best to Thomas, and take care of yourself Newt." She called out as she walked down the corridor, and out of sight.

It wasn't until much later in the evening that the sound of Thomas' return came to him. He looked tired as he dragged himself through the door, shedding off his shoes and rucksack.

"Hey." He smiled warmly at Newt as he made his way over to the couch where Newt had spent most of the afternoon lazily watching documentaries. 

"You look bushed." He allowed Thomas to sprawl on top of him in a lazy cuddle. It felt nice, it was their routine, and somehow their engagement had made it all the more meaningful. Thomas's head rested on his chest, the rest of him half dangling off the sofa, but the guy looked comfortable enough. Absent-mindlessly, Newt started to massage the brunette's scalp, running his fingers through the thick hair.

"How was your day?" Friday's were always busy at The Homestead, people never seemed to want to go home at the weekend. 

"My day started with a flooded toilet...lets just say it didn't perk up until now."

"Nice." Newt chuckled, imagining Thomas with marigolds and a mop and bucket. 

"S'not funny." Thomas looked up at him with a smirk that gave away his serious tone. "How was your day?"

Usually this question was replied to quickly and painlessly with a 'fine' or an 'okay'. Newt's days were never made up of much activity, which was the main reason why he was now seriously contemplating returning to work. He was bored, he hated being idle, and his days alone dragged on without Thomas there with him. Now he felt ready to continue with his life, there was nothing for him to do, and it was making him crazy.

"Interesting."

Thomas sat up and cocked an eyebrow at him, blatantly not sure if he was being sarcastic or not. "Oh? How so?"

Newt sat up as well, letting his feet touch the ground. "Ava paid me a visit."

It was not a good start, not if Thomas' darkened eyes were anything to go by. "What did she want?"

"She would like me to resume my old job."

"Of course she did." Thomas got up and began pacing the room. "I take it you said no."

Newt swallowed, he didn't think Thomas would be _that_ presumptuous. "I said I'd think about it."

"Fuck." It was more out of resignation than anger that Thomas swore. "What's to think about?" 

"Thomas, there's a lot to think about. I loved that job, it made me feel like I made a difference somewhere. Plus I'm tired of sitting here all day waiting for you to come home. You're working even longer hours than before so we can get by, and it's not fair. It makes sense for me to go back."

"There are other jobs."

"I've tried, but the fact is I don't want any other job. I'm good at this one - I'm great at it!" 

"I don't trust that woman Newt. She nearly cost you your life, and she was no help at all in saving it after she cocked up. If I hadn't blackmailed her, I would never have found you. Her reputation came before you, and you really want to work with someone like that? I'm amazed you can even bear to look at her, cause I can't." 

Having had enough, Thomas walked out the room and headed upstairs. "Where are you going?" Newt called out after him.

"I'm taking a shower. I can't believe were even having this fucking conversation."

He heard the bathroom door slam, and Newt sank further down into his seat. He stroked his engagement ring, watching it as it caught the light from the ceiling.  _See? You just fuck everything up._

He sat still and quiet, listening to the sounds of water from upstairs. When he heard it stop he waited a couple of minutes before quietly going upstairs. He found Thomas in their bedroom, dressed in just a pair of pyjama bottoms, his hair still damp from his shower. They're eyes met at the doorway and neither knew what to say. In the end it was Thomas who held his arms out.

"Come 'ere."

Newt let himself be taken into warm arms. Thomas smelt of soap, fresh and pleasant, his back was still covered in small droplets. He treasured the closeness, pressed up against Thomas' bare chest, he felt at peace. This is what Newt loved about Thomas. When things got heated, and he let his emotions get the better of him, he knew to walk away, take some time out, and return with a better frame of mind. A far cry from what Alby was like, and Newt admired the trait.

"You know I just want you to be safe." Thomas explained softly, massaging the back of his neck with his thumbs. Newt squeezed tighter to show that he did know.

"I am safe if I'm with you."

"Is it really what you want?" Thomas continued. 

"I want you to stop busting your butt to keep a roof over our heads. So yeah, it's what I want."

Thomas' sigh reverberated through him. "I'm only working extra hard now because of Minho's damn paternity leave." He chuckled nonetheless. "I didn't realise just how much shit that guy does til now." 

Newt squeezed Thomas' arms to get his attention. "If I go back, I will only be in the lab. No field work, I'm through with that. No court cases, just forensics, plus I won't be paged in on unusual hours, it'll be a nine til five job, five days a week. Ava's desperate to get me back, so she's happy to agree to pretty much any terms I want." 

"Good. Don't make it easy for her... so when will you start?"

Newt shook his head. "I haven't completely made up my mind yet. As ideal as it is, it doesn't look very good does it? I made a storm walking out, to return now is a little bit embarrassing. I think I'll sleep on it."

Thomas brought him in close, hugging him intimately, Newt let himself be cradled, his fingers tracing the familiar map of Thomas' back. 

"That sounds like a good idea, I'm beat." 

They laid in each others arms under the sheets, a warm breeze settled over them through an open window. Newt rested his head in the crook of Thomas' neck, feeling completely at home. Their hands interlinked, engagement rings resting against each other. 

"Whatever you decide Newt, I've got your back."

Newt smiled, a feeling of warmth spreading inside him. He pressed their lips together, slowly caressing them. Thomas let out a deep hum that shot straight to Newt's groin. 

"Thank you."

He saw Thomas eyes flutter shut, the man was shattered, overworked. Newt smiled at the idea of fixing that problem, and making it so they could spend their evenings together, and not at work. He settled his head down, and closed his own eyes. Listening to Thomas' gentle breathing, he too was soon fast asleep. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Been suffering with 'Eye Fatigue' and have had to stay away from screens as much as possible. Feeling better now, but not perfect, but I am glad to finally get this out there!
> 
> What about our Dylan getting himself injured trying to bring our Thomas to life on the big screen! Here's to wishing him a swift recovery! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! :)

The sound of shrill laughter filled the room as Thomas lifted Chuck above his head as he laid flat out on the sofa. The little one was only a few weeks old, but was growing and learning quickly, making him much more interesting to play with. He seemed to take great delight in pretending to be an airplane, laughing at every silly face Thomas pulled. He laughed with Chuck, the infant's infectiousness impossible to fight against.

"You won't be laughing if he throws up in your face." Teresa pointed out from her seat across from them. She had the weekend mainly to herself, Minho had taken himself off with Ben and Fry on a lad's weekend, and had visited Thomas and Newt for some adult company. To look at her, it would be a push to guess she had given birth just over a month ago. She looked calm and well-rested, and had taken to motherhood as a duck takes to water.

Thomas gently brought Chuck down and sat up with him in his lap. Teresa was the careful mother, he knew she wasn't overly keen on his active take on playing when it came to her baby boy. Usually he would carry on, after all Chuck seemed to enjoy it, but the idea of baby sick in his mouth was enough to make him stop. Instead he let Chuck idly play with his fingers and suck at his wrist; making soft gurgling noises as he did so.

"Mum that really isn't necessary." Newt spoke down the phone as he strode soundlessly from one side of the room to the next, suffering one of many excitable phone calls from his mother since he relayed the news of the engagement. His shadow passed over Thomas and Chuck routinely as he passed the window again and again, where strong summer sunlight flooded the room.

"I think I might need to get the guest bedroom ready." He commented as he watched Newt vacate into the much brighter kitchen. His golden hair lit up, a halo of light surrounding him.

"Hmm?" Teresa questioned.

"Sounds like his Mum's coming to stay with us."

"How can you tell that?"

Thomas picked up a soft giraffe toy from the floor, and replaced it for his hand in Chuck's mouth. He wiped his now slobbered hand on the sofa as his nephew began chowing down on his new chew toy.

"Simple, Newt's pacing a lot, even for him, which generally means he's impatient with the conversation/ Second, he's left the room, so we can't hear."

As if to prove his point, Newt reentered the room with an exasperated look on his face.

"My mother's coming to stay."

"Told ya." Thomas grinned at his sister. "How long for?" His grin soon subsiding as he released Newt's mother would actually be coming to stay.

Newt slumped down next to him and leaned on his shoulder. "By the sounds of it, until were married,"

"Wait, what?" Until they were married? It sounded like Mrs Newton had thought more about their wedding day then they had. Thomas himself had yet to give it a second thought, and he knew that returning to work was the only thing occupying Newt's head at the moment. "That could be months!"

"What about your Dad?" Teresa asked.

"He's got work, but Mum can get away. Man, why can't she be more like him?"

"What's the problem?" Teresa questioned."She's just happy for you and wants to see you, what's bad about that?"

Thomas and Newt both sighed at the same time.

"I love her but we won't be able to relax in our own home."

"The wedding will be all she talks about."

"It will get blown out of proportion."

"She'll pressure us to get married as soon as possible."

"Okay I get it!" Teresa interjected their duo mantra of complaints. "Honestly, men. Can't you let people be excited for you?"

Newt shook his head. "I'm not fond of being the centre of attention, and I hate people going out of their way for me."

A sudden familiar stench reached Thomas' nostrils, one he had still not grown accustomed to. He looked down with a creased nose at the still entertained infant, and his now saturated giraffe. 

"Speaking of which... T, little ones shat his pants again."

"Thomas do not swear in front of Chuck!" She scolded him as if she was practicing for when she would have to scold Chuck later in life. 

"Pfft, like he understands a word I'm saying. It's all goo goo gachoo to him. But seriously though, he stinks."

Teresa rolled her eyes. "I changed him like an hour ago, what are you trying to do to me Chuck?"

"It's alright, I'll do it." Newt offered, plucking the now restless child from Thomas' arms, he took off to the bedroom before anyone could object.

"You two would make great parents." Teresa's words warmed Thomas a little bit inside. He had often thought of raising a little family with Newt, but would they have the time? He hadn't approached  the topic with his fiancee, there was plenty of time in their future for that, and too much going on in the present. 

They moved into the kitchen, made and drank coffee at the breakfast bar, catching up with each other's lives. Teresa was enjoying time off work, and was thinking of basing her job from home as much as she could so she could look after Chuck. Their conversation soon bounced back to the engagement, and all things wedding. 

"I think it's great Newt's mum is so enthusiastic about the wedding. It's important for the parents of the betrothed to be there on their child's special day." 

Thomas stared at his sister over his coffee mug as she looked out the window. He said nothing to the statement, he just stared, letting the words settle in the air. She soon noticed his lack of reply, and caught his eyes. 

"What?" She asked.

He smiled wryly, knowingly, as he set his mug down with a clink. "Teresa, just say it."

"Say what?" She asked innocently.

"What you've been dying to say ever since you stepped through that door today."

She huffed, blatantly miffed she had been so easy to read. "Why haven't you told our parents about the wedding yet?"

"Because I don't want to."

"They have a right to know."

"No they don't."

"I know what you think of them, but they'll want to be there, I know it! You must invite them.!"

"Teresa, if I invite them, then they will come."

"Good, so whats the probl-"

He stood up sharply, his stool scraping across the floor cutting her off. "Because if he comes, Dad will take great delight in making sure it is the absolute worst day of my life. That is something I won't go through, and I will not allow Newt to suffer it neither. Do you not remember what happened at your wedding?"

"Thomas, you can't put all of that on him."

"He antagonized me! On a day when I didn't even know if the love of my life was alive or dead!"

It was Teresa's turn to stand. "Then at least talk to Mum! She loved you you know. I know she does not show it, but she does. She asks after you every time I see her, out of Dad's ear shot."

"A fool's love." He muttered under his breath. "If she loves me then where has she been the last ten years huh?"

"Just talk to her Thomas, please?"

Newt entered the room with a concerned look on his face. 

"Guys keep the noise down will ya, Chuck was cranky from tiredness and I just got him off upstairs."

Teresa smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks Newt, I was only trying to explain-

"I heard the argument, I've got the gist." Newt interrupted before she could repeat her whole argument again, to Thomas' relief. "I think this is a conversation best dropped, shall we put a film on whilst little man sleeps?"

If it wasn't for her sleeping baby whom she did not want to disturb, Teresa may well have carried on. However, she simply eyed Thomas before striding into the living room. Newt exchanged a look with Thomas that said he would have to explain later. They settled together on the sofa whilst Teresa punished them by choosing a chick flick, and they soon lost themselves in the mindless script.

Amazingly no-one, not even his sister mentioned the wedding, or parents again. Thomas was pleased that the matter had been disposed of, which was why he was both shocked and deeply perplexed to answer his front door two days later to find his mother standing on the other side, meek looking, and alone.

"Hello Thomas."

Mary Greene was a frail looking woman, thin with cheeks that lacked in colour that was not grey. Her eyes were big and sad, her dark brown hair hung limp in long strands, framing her face morbidly. Thomas remembered his mother from his childhood, and the lady that stood anxiously in front of him was not her. She was shorter than him, and had to look up when she spoke. Her posture and demeanor was more of a child sent to the principal's office than a parent visiting their child.

"Mum." The title fell heavily from his lips. His mouth had dried up, shock clawing at his throat as he fought to keep his composure. "How do you know where I live - wait." He cut himself off, shaking his head in disbelief. "Teresa, she told you - she's got a nerve."

His mother shook her head, her hair flapping against her cheeks as she did so. Some rogue strands stuck to the skin which she swept away with the back of her hand.

"Teresa didn't contact me." She explained to a confused Thomas. He blinked with a furrowed brow. If Teresa didn't set this up then...

"Who did?" 

"I did." Thomas reeled around at the quiet voice behind him. Newt stood in the hallway with his arms wrapped around himself. 

"You?" His voice came out in a raspy whisper. Newt didn't dare look at him, keeping his eyes to the floor. Thomas clicked his tongue, his heart dropping to the depths as betrayal struck him inside. "You do right to look ashamed Newt, how could you?"

"Newt told me about the engagement." His mother's whinnying voice irked his eardrums. "He thinks we should talk, and so do I."

Thomas kept his cold gaze on his fiancee, the man he was supposed to be able to trust. "Did he now? And what does dear old Daddy have to say?"

"He doesn't know. Both myself and Newt thought it would be best if we kept him out of this. Thomas, I just want to talk to my son."

"You've had the last ten years for that." Each word he spoke was laced with venom, without him having to try to produce it. 

Newt walked up to him and paced a hand on his shoulder. "I'll leave you two to talk. There's a pot of coffee in the kitchen." Thomas wanted to hold on to Newt, to shake him, to knock some sense into him, to keep him close, to have him there to support him. Instead he looked away as the blonde quickly made his way upstairs, leaving the two Greenes alone in their awkward silence. 

Thomas didn't know what Newt was playing at, he couldn't help but feel betrayed. Surely out of everyone, Newt understood how hard this was for him? He took a deep breath, putting the blonde enigma out of his thoughts so he could focus on the silent presence that still stood behind him. He had half hoped she had had second thoughts and walked away, but he could hear her breathing. 

"How many sugars?"

"Hm?" She squeaked.

"In your coffee. How many sugars?"

"Oh, two please. Thank you Thomas."

She followed him into his home and kitchen, slipping her shoes off on her way in and padding along on bare feet. It felt unnatural to Thomas to have one of his own parents under his roof, receiving his hospitality. He certainly wasn't in a hospitable mood. 

"I don't think you've ever made me a drink before." Mary talked as she watched him pour two steaming cups of coffee.

"I never really had the chance now did I." He caught her off guard, she flinched at the simple truth. All the little things families take for granted, they had never got to do, and she kept tripping up on them.

"No..... no you didn't. Listen Thomas..."

"Why are you here?" Thomas interrupted. He wanted this conversation over as soon as possible, the woman opposite him was a stranger. A sad truth, but a truth nonetheless. He didn't feel comfortable having her in his home. Just looking at her made him remember all the things he had gone through, because she was unable to stand up for him.

"Because you are my son, and because I love you." Her mouth was tight, she looked weary, and old. 

"It's a bit late for that now don't you think?"

"Yes." She agreed. "But it doesn't make it any less true. I know I haven't been a mother to you, and I hate myself for all the time we've lost."

Thomas put his cup down before the urge to throw it overcame him.

"Whose fault is that? If you ever loved me, then why did you let Dad treat me like he did? Why did you not help me when he threw me out on the street? You always took his side!"

"I know I let you down. When you told us that you were gay, your father - I didn't know what to do. If I tried to sympathize with you, he would have gone ballistic."

"I didn't need your sympathy! I needed your acceptance! I needed you to be my Mum! But you always took Dad's side. Even at Teresa's wedding, you sat there and let him humiliate me in front of everyone. You didn't even try to find me, or talk to me. What sort of love is that?"

Mary looked out the window, stray tears slid down her face but she ignored them. "Your father is very strong-minded.. I.. I didn't handle the situation well."

"Damn right you didn't." Right then he didn't know who he hated more. His father for how he had treated him, or his mother for standing aside and letting it happen. At least his dad showed something towards him, even if it was disgust and hatred. This woman that sat in front of him however, showed him nothing. 

"But Thomas, you never stopped being my son. Not in my eye." She continued to bleat to his deaf ears. "I know I've failed you, badly, but I never stopped loving you as my own. I've wanted to come to you for years, but never have I found the courage. I thought after Chuck was born I'd never see or hear of you again, so I was more than a little surprised when Newt called me out of the blue yesterday." She wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. "My Thomas getting married, I couldn't believe it, I had to see you."

"So you could talk me out of it?" 

"No! I'm glad you're marrying someone you truly love."

"You're not invited you know."

She smiled a small, sad smile. "That doesn't surprise me. But Thomas listen to me, without you it's like I've lived half a life. I would like to be whole again. I would like to be your Mother again." She reached over to touch his hand. He recoiled as if bitten, her words fueling his pent up emotions.

"You've lived half a life?" He scoffed at her. "You abandoned me when I needed you most. I was just a kid when Dad chased me out, and all you did was stand there and watch. I'm sorry, but you are not my Mother. I've gotten this far without one, and I don't need one now."

"I guess I can't blame you." She gave up easier than he had expected. But then again, she was weak, she had proven that much to him.

"But Thomas, I will always be here for you. No more excuses, if you need me, you will be able to reach me. Newt has my number, he can give it to you."

He kept his gaze down, mesmerized by the swirling in his coffee cup. "That won't be necessary." He was glad when she stood up and collected her shoes. Glad, but also, strangely sad. He'd never had to say goodbye to her before, in the past he had never had the chance. It felt weird to do it now, to say goodbye for the last time.  _At least we ended with a margin of civility._

"Newt is a very nice young man, you make a fine couple. He told me what you did for him, I am so proud of you Thomas, my son."

He had heard enough.

"Goodbye Mum."

 Thomas sat motionless as he heard his Mum let herself out, the door closing firm behind her. He felt drained, his body felt heavy, as if he was moving in water. He told himself he had made the right choice, he couldn't start a relationship with someone he could barely stand to look out. He loved his mum, the woman from his child hood, he did not love who he saw today. It wasn't out of revenge that he sent her away, it was out of pure indifference. He didn't need her. Yet, still, tears he had held back in front of her now fell freely. 

He waited until he had let his sadness all out before plodding up the stairs to the bedroom he shared with Newt. He found the blonde sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed in deep concentration as he read a text book in his lap. Several articles sat scattered around him, and his laptop was turned on by his side. Newt was due back in work in just a couple of days, and he had spent a lot of time catching up with forensic techniques and open cases. 

"Why?" The single word caught Newt's attention, and he looked up from his data. He had recently started wearing glasses when working, clear rimmed frames perched on his nose, only serving to make his eyes even brighter. He set his work to one side and moved to the edge of the bed, chewing over his words before he spoke.

 "Were about to take the next big step in our lives together. Before we took that step, I wanted you to be sure you were happy with how things stood. I guess I wanted you to have what I have with my parents, and I thought it might be possible with your mum. But you needed to make that choice for yourself, and commit to it before we commit to each other. I got her number from Teresa after your argument the other day. I'm sorry I did it behind your back, but I know you would have said no otherwise."

Newt fumbled with his hands, picking at his own fingernails, a sign he was deeply anxious. 

"A-are you mad at me?"

Thomas let Newt's words and the encounter with his Mother wash through his mind. At the end of it, he felt eerily peaceful and at ease. Newt had been right, he had spent his life bogged down under  his parent's shadow. Now he had been the one to close the door, he could move on with his life.

"No... no I'm not mad at you."

He joined Newt on the bed and pulled him close to him, kissing his temple as he held him tight. He felt Newt's smile against his neck, soft and real. 

"I'm glad Tommy."

They lay together on the bed, among Newt's books and papers, cuddling as time swept over them without trace. Thomas idly played with Newt's hair with one hand, whilst Newt doodled ghostly across his chest with a finger. 

"Hey Newt, do you still have my Mum's number?"

Newt grunted as he moved around next to him. "Yeah, here." He fumbled a scrap bit of paper out of his pocket and handed it over. Thomas held it up above him, staring at the scrawled numbers for a few seconds. Then he scrunched it up into a ball, and with good aim, launched it out of the open window. A cool breeze entered as the paper exited, brushing over them gently; and Thomas felt himself at ease. 

_Goodbye Mum._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
